This post is my response to a story by Adam Walser at http://www.whas11.com/news/local/Community-reflects-on-the-day-after-multiple-shootings-152097555.html From WHAS11.com (http://www.whas11.com/home/Police-working-triple-shooting-in-the-1000-block-S-32nd-Street-151904415.html) “Police said a pregnant woman shot and killed another woman, and police shot the pregnant woman.” “LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WHAS11) — Louisville Metro Police are working overtime after six people were shot near Downtown Louisville Thursday.” Due to the ages of those involved in the events of this past week, I see them as my children. At 51, I see most young people under 30 as my children, particularly the young women. I address them on the street and in my heart as daughters of mine. For me, the most disturbing aspect of the news reports were the young mothers, my daughters, engaged in gun battle. And that they brought their children into the fray. In no society is that normal. It is unhealthy, on so many levels.
These incidents speak to the level of dis-ease in the community. I experienced this phenomena in service at my last residence in Sheppard Square. Young women, publicly expressing their anger in unhealthy ways, in the presence of their children. First teachers instructing the next generation, often with the support and assistance of their mothers. Not rarely, their mothers were the target of their rage. Not enough times did I see seasoned mothers step in, take control of the situation and restore order, if not peace. Therefore, the job was left to the police and the funeral homes. The first group I would call into conversation would be mothers, young and old. We all desire the same thing, our children to grow healthy and strong and become productive members of society, how do we get it, together? Though they rebel, now is not the time to release authority over our children. Our children are angry and we have a responsibility as mothers, as women, as culture bearers to find out why. Our children are in need of critical care! Who better than we mothers to begin the healing process? Merely a point for consideration.
Another point . . . In medicine, critical-care is a branch concerned with the diagnosis and management of life threatening conditions requiring sophisticated organ support and invasive monitoring. Anger continually repressed produces rage. Violence is the outward expression of inner rage. Violence, as with profanity, is a language used by those who know no other way to communicate. The rage expressed reflects the desire to be heard, to be understood, to be included. Individuals strike out in violence to expel the pain felt inside. Those who feel they have no other outlet to express their pain, will hit. Feeling they have no other way to obtain what they desire, they strike to intimidate the perceived opponent into surrender. If violence is a language, then may we seek to find out what our children are trying to say? What do they desire? What do they want to change? What is hurting them? Can we be willing to stay present long enough to heal the wound, and not simply anesthetize the pain. I believe that this will require relationship building. Offering better communication tools and having someone in a position of power to actually listen will make a huge difference. Programs are not what is needed, personal involvement is required. Our children do not need to be judged, they need to be heard.
We, seasoned members of the community, do not currently possess any solution. We do not know what the problem is, since we have not spoken to any of the parties involved. The first step of any true solution must be asking key questions, such as, what do you want? Where does it hurt? Why are you angry? With whom? What has happened in the past to create this level of anger now? What about you hurts so bad that making others live in fear makes you feel better? Finding the answers will require moving to the other side of the desks, coming out of the offices, opening the closed door meetings, stepping down from behind the podiums and pulpits, rolling up our sleeves and opening our minds and hearts. Begin to develop old fashioned person-to-person relationships with those in crisis. This will mean going into environments and having real conversations to find out what is needed. Suspend your notion that you know what the problem really is. Open your mind, you may be surprised. By listening, truly listening, we may find that there are simple, affordable, obtainable goals to be achieved, with the right people working together.
In a lot of these situation, the violence is a reaction to poverty. We could consider that the current social service model is not effective. The social service system has participated heavily in producing the environment we currently have. My point is not to dissect the ills of welfare reform, it is, that the one of the symptoms of the dis-ease of poverty is violent outburst. Maybe the simple change from poverty being a character flaw to a dis-ease that can be cured is a productive start. Stop assuming your research has given you all the answers; you know nothing about extreme poverty unless you have lived it. Seek to understand the reality of poverty as it is lived by today’s generation. The underworld our children have created to survive what we have allowed to exist, in isolation, is coming to light. Poverty is an isolated and debilitating condition, but it can be cured.
If the goal is actually peace in the community, take care to look at your at your own language as you move forward. As groups gather to seek solutions, are you going to use your resources to fight the violence in the community or create peace in the community? Will you send out a war cry or a declaration of peace? Are you going to “fight to stop the bloodshed anyway you can” or take the necessary steps to create a peaceful community. According to Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” In order to end the violence you will need to evolve beyond it into a peaceful way of being, in thought, word and deed. Rather than seeking to end the violence, consider intending to begin the peace.
Above all, be willing to do and be something different in response to the current events. It may sound trite to suggest being the change we wish to see, but it might also be the most effective effort we can make.
Peace is not the absence of conflict or violence. It is the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflicts or resorting to violence.
